It takes courage to be real, to be true and honest or up front. For those of us who have been down, and have gotten back up, we know the battle well. It’s that internal struggle and fear that we must shake ourselves free of. That gut feeling that suddenly doesn’t agree with blood pressure or brain as we pull in the clutch that first time after, say, going into the center divide (me). That first ride can be a killer, and we deal with it by deciding what is real for us. I made my first ride after going down the “Wreck Route”, deciding to get it OVER with and move on. But that fear can also kick our ass if we don’t have courage, or if our heart isn’t in it. Will we continue and ride another day? Either get over it and ride, or sell it, done. It’s freakishly similar to dating (or is it more..). That feeling of nervousness, maybe not quite knowing what truths will be revealed, or sometimes acting on something simply because we must. Do we lose sight of what is important? What’s in our hearts. Do we really know? Can we really grasp what we feel? Will we not only understand what the right thing is but will we follow through? Win, or lose?
Why do we pick and choose when to fight for what we want or need, for what is right, vs when to submit, either to thoughts or fears. Why does it take so much sometimes? Is part of it because of the freedom of choice, to decide what is important, because we have SO many choices? Why do some of us take the easy route? Why is it not safe for some to do what the heart demands? Does age bring wisdom? Or is it the youth that tend to be more honest, more daring, more true? Why do some of us fight against every fearful nerve in our bodies and get back on our steel horses while others do not? Why do some resort? Or retreat? And why do we make things so damn complicated or difficult anyway?
I’m me. I tend to be real, well, I thought so anyway. I try. No, not try I just do. I just am what I am. And I am trying to follow my heart. I just did something that was really freaking hard. So…Did I just win, or lose?
I’m going riding…
1 hour ago
14 comments:
If you followed your heart it was the right choice, no matter how hard it seemed, you did what your heart desired. For that you must stand proud for so few of us have the courage to do that.
xoxoxoxox
Thought provoking post.
For my money, being true to yourself means you won. Selling out is for loosers.
I'm voting you were true to yourself and that makes you a winner. Ride safe Lady.
Hummm! That is deep! For me, I used to tend to think about things too much and get caught up in all the angles, possibilities, risks, rewards and consequences of my choices. I wasted a lot of time and missed a lot of opportunity for fear of taking responsibility for my decisions because I just really didn't want to make the wrong one. I reached a point where I just had to say stop, move on and just do what feels right and makes sense. I could make up a scenerio for every bad possibility, but in the mean time, I was wasting my life, other peoples lives and missing great opportunities for the future of myself and others. Have you heard of Occums Razor: The simplest answer is usually the right answer. That's my mantra now. Sorry for the soap box, and thanks for the good read. You seem like a good person who deserves the best in life...It will come!
I don't think I could say it any better than Witchazel and AHD already did! So DITTO!
I think you are an amazing writer, you really make me think.....scarey! :)
Last night I drew up a symbol of a peace sign with a sword through the center of it. The top of the sign has the balance scales. Funny because today I read this and what you are saying is basically saying the same thing.
"Peace and Balance can only be brought through calamity and conflict."
I figure if you don't fight then you will never be happy because your peace and balance is always going to be off, in the favor of what you fear.
Way to keep the balance even here. Go ride! What are you saving up for? tick, tick, tick
Wow, that's a pretty heavy post to read after a long day and a couple of beers.
My 2 cents is that your head and your heart are nearly always in competition (probably a great Robin Williams routine in there somewhere). Your head is always thinking about the pros and cons and what others think and/or expect of you. But your heart... Well your heart really only cares about you, about what's right for you.
So I'm with ArizonaHarleyDude on this one. You're a winner.
I think my last comment got lost in the ether, which is too bad because it was much more erudite than this one :)
Anyway, this was a very good post.
I think the head and heart are nearly always in conflict. The head worries about the pros and cons, what others think or expect, and all the practical issues. The heart only worries about you. Following your heart is always the best option, even though it can take tremendous courage to do so.
So I'm with ArizonaHarleyDude here - you won.
It may not seem like it right now, but in the end, you won.
Ride safe.
Always follow your heart and in the end you will be a winner. Sometimes taking the road less traveled is a way we challenge ourselves. And sometimes the easier path shows itself and we're just not up to the fight, so we take that one. Whatever battles you choose to fight, you'll win them, or learn something from them, while still being true to yourself.
Ride safe.
I can always count on you stimulating my innermost thoughts. Your deep girl. ;)
My Daddy always taught me to think it through, but once I make a decision... get on my horse and ride... and don't look back.
Going through life second guessing yourself makes you crazy. You just learn to live with whatever you've decided. Move on with it... or around it. Who's to say you can't change your direction any time you see an advantage to do so.
My problem is... to many times my hearts wins over what my mind tells me to do. Luckily, it hasn't got me in too much trouble... yet.
Ride on sista!
P.S. I hope you don't think I've been absent. For some reason I must not be posting my comments right, as I've not seen them come up on your last couple of posts. I'm being very diligent this time! LOL1 :)
The biggest fear is fearing fear...if that makes any sense to you...
Well said and done!
I think Canajun and myself have the same gremlin. My previous reply, that also seems to be lost in the ether, was likely a bit more deep than my reply here.
As a child I was deathly afraid of the dark. My father once told me, "There is nothing in the dark that isn't there in the daylight. Just remember where things are so you don't skin your shins."
There are many relational references to fear and dark throughout literature. For some, maybe it is just a matter of how much one remembers versus how thick the flesh on your shins are.
If this thing you did was from the heart; from your gut... You won.
"Fear makes the wolf bigger than he is."
---- German Proverb
P.S.
You have some pretty deep replies here. Any time my brain needs a jump-start, I grab a cup of coffee and head over to Ms M's Place.
P.P.S.
IMHO, this isn't "Chick Shit," it is "Serious Philosophical Shit."
Thank you, each and every one of you. Everyone has sent out some very deep and sweet replies. I want to reply to each and every one, I really took something for them all, but at the moment I need more ride time to sort things out.
ps, WTF is up with blogger? i dont know whats happening to your replies...?!?...are you getting error messsages?...hmmm...
xoxoxo to you all :) I'm here, just reading and riding ;) Be back soon...
Deep soulful post as usual.
You're a winner. Definitely.
MQ,
You are TRULY a winner. A winner can recover from a downfall or error in judgement. You have proved that over and over again. I have been to the hospital twice by ambulance because of the motorcycle life and hitting the pavement hard. And since the third time is usually "the charm", I joke and say my third time by ambulance will be to the morgue. As a result, I stay fine tuned when on the road, knowing that eventually, even being fine tuned won't be enough. But like you say, a person has to follow his/her heart and choose where they need to be in life. Like you, I chose to stay with the bike, on the road & in the company of friends, like you, that share our concerns and needs, that are there for each other with prayers when time calls for them. Many , lke you, that I haven't yet met in person, I have met on-line, in spirit and am proud to call you my friend. Like you, I chose the only way to go for me and thank you for all your in put. With a good friend like you supporting us, we are ALL winners.. Thank you, my friend, and we will meet and ride soon.
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be nice or i might bite ;)